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Our internet is the most powerful tool we have today. Embracing it, being purposeful in how we use it, and working to bring our connections offline can make it a great place to make some friendships.

Embrace it

Innovation in tech moves at the speed of light. It seems every other day there’s some new app or device that I was supposed to be using three weeks ago. Some new way of connecting comes out of left field- and I’ll admit, I’m skeptical of many of them.

But in our very individual society, connecting online can be a very useful tool. Our connections don’t have to stay online, either. The world-wide web is a great place to begin– everyone uses it, for so many things, it’s like walking into a library with the entire planet sitting inside.

And it’s not just Facebook. Here are some other places we can build bonds:

  • Topic-specific forums
  • Interacting with blogs (like this one!)
  • Online events
  • Within comments of content you enjoy

Of course, proper etiquette, safety, and purpose are important. When we’re anonymous, it can often feel like we’re much more safe/powerful than we actually are. It’s important to have precautions in place to get the most out of our experiences.

Etiquette (no, really)

Being real, making sure our experience is tailored, being cautious, and interacting freely can be some of the most important points to a useful online time.

I use the word ‘etiquette’ loosely here. I promise, if you show an ankle, or use the wrong fork, nobody will lose their head. But there are some basic principles that are helpful to rely on when creating your online life.

Authenticity

Making friends online can be just as hard as in person. We make it harder for ourselves when we pretend to be someone else. Then that person isn’t actually getting to know us.

So being yourself is crucial. But don’t be too authentic– your private life is still your private life. Consider what you want to be known about you, and make an active effort to keep what you want private, private.

Curate your experience

‘Block them’ seems harsh. But it’s not. Your space is your space. Block people that post things you don’t want to see. Block people who slightly annoy you. It’s not your duty to be uncomfortable everytime you come online.

Delete messages that are cruel or crude. Ignore the things that upset you. These seem like obvious concepts, but sometimes we get caught up in making everyone else happy.

Of course, follow the rules of whatever site you’re on. The rest of your experience can be curated by following, blocking, ignoring, and being purposeful about when you get online.

Safety
It’s so easy to get comfortable online. Just look at how my writing style changes from the first blog here to this one. Even the way I use words changes as I get used to the environment.

These are the top things to look out for, and to remind yourself of:

  • What’s actually in your pictures?
    • Street signs
    • Outside of your house
  • Details of locations
    • Wait to post about specific places until you’ve left them
  • Important information
    • Your phone number
    • First grade teacher’s name
    • Other things that can be used to impersonate you

And, most forgettable, things that really want you to click them. If you see an ad for something you like, try looking it up first and finding the product via an official site. If a ‘download’ button looks suspicious, try seeing if it’s popularly used somewhere else.

Interaction

To build bonds, the best thing you can do is interact with things. Lurking doesn’t help anyone. Leave comments instead of just likes, share things that remind you of other people. Try posting your own content! 

Show up with a purpose

Much like interaction, we get the most of the internet when we do it with a reason.

First, choose the right platforms. If you’re more of a picture person, go for Facebook or Instagram. Videos might mean YouTube, and writing might be blogs or Facebook again. Beyond the top three, there are so many more sites out there. Like Goodreads, Twitch, or Mastodon. 

Next, dedicate time to it. ‘Doomscrolling’ is when someone just lays there for hours, endlessly scrolling. I, uh, try to avoid this (keyword: try). I find I have the best, most memorable time when I purposefully take only x amount of minutes, and interact with the posts instead of just flying through them. Then I put down the phone and move on.

You can also join localized groups. Be careful, but it can be a good way to make friends nearby and learn more about your community. They might know cool things to do around town or ways to invigorate your current hobbies! 

Bring it offline

Start small. Phone calls or FaceTimes are great ways to vet a person– does their voice sound like it should? Do they look how they claim? It also helps build trust and understanding before physically meeting.

Meeting up somewhere neutral is also important. Coffeeshops, parks– having other people around is a good way to ensure your safety. It also can make it more comfortable if you have other things to comment on! 

More on safety: although this is our new normal, watch you for yourself. I would hate for someone to get hurt. Going in groups with other people you know can help build barriers. Be sure to let someone else know where you’ll be, and for how long– and know exactly what your plan is going in.

Social media (and the internet in general) is a great tool to use. And, hey, we’d love to connect with you, too!  Take a look at our Facebook (@CaringConnections) and leave us a comment!