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Is something keeping you from being in the moment? From feeling as happy as you think you should be? You might have a single, big worry, many little ones, or a scattering in between: all of these are important to notice, and important to work with.

“I’m just a little worried”

Worry isn’t an uncommon problem. I feel it, my friends feel it, you feel it. But that doesn’t take away the importance of it. 

“I’m just a little worried, is all,” I find myself saying, “Just a little worried.”

I might be picking at my fingers. Breathing strangely. Not paying attention to the person I’m trying to talk to, or not replying to their texts. I might be staying inside for days on end, or eating less, or eating more, or sleeping worse, or… well, the list goes on.

Worry– or anxiety– isn’t a rare problem these days. The ‘flavors’ are endless, enough so that it can seem like it’s everywhere. In fact, Danesh Alam, medical director of Behavioral Health Services at Northwestern Medicine Central DuPage Hospital, says anxiety is the most common mental health issue in our society. 

Personally, I worry the most around my schedule, and when talking to people. A friend of mine gets anxious about food. My mother worries about her family and friends. Everyone is unique. What worries one person is different from another, and so what helps them will be different, too. 

You might know exactly what you worry about the most. You might not. Things like this aren’t always the easiest to spot.

Recognizing your own worry

Much like the cold, being overly worried has symptoms you can look out for. These can help you identify a cause.

There are a few ‘symptoms’ you can look for. 

  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Hard time concentrating
  • Your positive moods don’t last
  • You have some physical sensations
    • Tightness in chest
    • Nausea
    • Bowel issues
    • Shortness of breath

These all might tell you you’re having anxiety about something. If these signs last for six months or longer, and make your life difficult, it might not just be a momentary worry. It could be an anxiety disorder. That’s something to speak to your doctor about. You don’t deserve to feel upset, and there are things you can do to help yourself.

If you’re feeling these things, but can’t figure out why, consider the world around you.

  • Are you afraid of anything specific?
  • Are you financially insecure?
  • Do you have health problems? Chronic pain?
  • Have you recently had any big life changes?
  • Have you lost anyone recently?

All these things (and more) can cause upticks in worry, even if it’s unrelated to the event itself. 

The effects of anxiety

If you’re sitting in a waiting room, knowing you’re about to get some bad news, you know it’s not just in your head. You might find it hard to breath. Your stomach hurts. You can’t relax your muscles, or your chest starts tightening. It’s real, in a way that something that’s “just in your head” isn’t. 

Even with smaller worries, these feelings can extend. You might have:

  • Shortness of breath
  • Exhaustion/difficulty sleeping
  • Stomach issues
  • Lowered immunity
  • Negative moods

These worries, big & small, can take away from the joy you do have. Your child might come over for a nice dinner, but you’re worried about a doctor’s appointment so much you can’t be in the moment with them.

They keep you from doing you. Especially if you have many things to worry about— it can spiral out of your control, and interrupt your life.

What can you do about it?

There are always steps you can take to give yourself a hand. But sometimes, we just aren’t qualified to work with our brains.

Take five.

Even just a couple minutes to yourself can make a difference. When you feel it rising up, take a deep breath, and relax. Maybe step out of the situation, if the worry is caused by something ongoing.

Be active.

A walk is activity. Dancing is activity. Standing outside for a few minutes, squinting at your weird neighbor, is activity. It doesn’t have to be pumping iron at the gym— find something quick, easy & fun, and tailor it to you.

Connect.

Talking to others about your worries can be the easiest way to ease it. Even if they just nod along, having someone to help carry the weight keeps an ounce off of your shoulders. It also lets them know how you’re struggling. They can then avoid things that might unintentionally make it harder. 

Get a hand.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a psychology degree (shocking, right?). I don’t know the best ways to help myself when I’m at my most upset. I don’t know how to work through issues that seem too big for me.

That’s why I go to therapy when I need it. My therapist helps me figure out what’s going on up there, and how to work with it. I’ve spoken to counselors, doctors, my pastor— people who know more about helping.

If your worry persists, and keeps you from doing you, it might be time to reach out.

The perfect fix isn’t always there

A walk can help a bit. Maybe talking helps a little more, and a therapist gets you a foot forward. But sometimes, things just can’t be solved completely. There might be outside problems that you can’t do anything about– housing, food, money. 

Unfortunately, these are the realities.

But a little step forward is worth it. If you don’t know where to start, try one of these:

And, as always, you can connect with us at hello@CaringConnections.us or (512) 996-1434. We’d love to hear from you.

Best,

JesseMae Rayer (From the CaringConnections team!)